Mass Effect: Evasion
by Lord Nikoli Esquire
Summary: As a young man in the Mid-Western U.S. Wakes up, he gets transported to the Mass Effect Universe. My first Self Insertion, and story.
1. Chapter 1

**Well this is my first Mass Effect FanFic, so wish me luck!**

**Also, I do not own Mass Effect. That privilege goes to Bioware and their douche slave-drivers EA. If I owned Mass Effect we would be seeing a lot more nudity and bodaciousness.**

Just another boring day in the Mid West. Fall trees are growing in numbers, and the mushrooms are growing like their on bath salts. I am making my favorite breakfast, a Jimmy Dean croissant sandwich and a cup of heated apple cider. I have to go to high school soon, but in the mean time, I'm reading playing Mass Effect 3 multiplayer, as a Volus adept. Just as I finish the game, my breakfast is done cooking. I go and eat a delicious breakfast, and after this I go put on my clothes, and brush my teeth. In my room I pass up my gun case with my Henry repeater, .357 revolver, and my M1 Garand. Yes an impressive collection for an amateur gun collector, but it's still small.

I go outside and start walking up the hill to my bus stop. But then a car swerves down my street and is headed on a crash course toward me. Just as I am about to get hit, a voice says "Need a hand?" Just after this, a suited man comes, and the whole world turns black.

I wake up in an alley. Well, as far as I can tell, it's an alley. This is good because this means that I'm not dead. I'm not in heaven for sure because my pastor never talked about shiny, dirty ass alleys in heaven. Now my first thought is, of course, where the hell am I? I get up and to my relief, nothing is broken. I walk out of the alley, to find myself in a presidium. I look for a second, and I realize exactly where I am. "Shit." I say to myself. I only thought this kind of stuff happened in grade B movies, or messed up FanFics. But nonetheless I am in the Citadel presidium. Just then, interrupting my thought of confusion, a Volus says "Excuse me Earth-clan. I have a message for you." Shit fist contact with an alien species, what do I do? I know! "Thank you kind member of the Irune-clan, what is your message to me?" I say. "Finally! An Earth-clan member who speaks the correct way! Ah! But you want your message, no? Here it is." Just as he says this, he hands me a data-pad and leaves. The data-pad has a blinking light on what I presume to the message button so I press it. _Meet me at the intercultural café; here are the directions to it from your current position._

After I followed the directions for a brief while, I find myself at the multicultural café. I walk in and a Salarian and Quarian greet me. "Welcome to our establishment!" the Quarian, a female I notice, says. "Would you like a free cup of fermented apple cider? We accidentally got a small shipment of it for free." The Salarian, a male, says. "Sure, why not." I say as I take the cup. "Thank you kind sir and lady." I say. Just then I see a business suited man waving me over. "Glad to see you are alright Nikos." He says. How do you know my name?" I ask. "Let's just say that I know a lot of information." "Ok, why am I here mister…?" I ask. "Oh," he says ", you can just call me the operator." "Ok operator, why am I here?" "You see, you have been chosen to help Commander Sheppard in his quest." "Ok, I'll bite. But how am I going to survive on here until he gets here?" I ask. "That's easy," he says as he hands me a suitcase ", because right here are to tool to do so. Now I'm afraid you must leave now if you want to look around a bit. Ta-ta!"

As I stay and watch him leave, I open up the suitcase to find an Omni-tool, and a note. _In the Omni-tool is your private info and five hundred million credits. Don't ask how I got them, but this should be enough for you to survive for a bit._

"Well, where do I go to first?" I ask myself.

** Hope you all enjoyed!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Finally another chapter to my story. Thank the people for the comments, I will make sure to make my chapters longer. I will also fix that first chapter up a bit.**

**A/N: I do not own Mass Effect, That honor goes to Bioware, and their EA overlords who I wish the soul shattering cry of the banshee shall reach. Time for a new chapter!**

"Fuck." I just realized that I'm on a citadel, no wait, THE CITADEL. Now I have to wonder, how in the 9 layers of hell and heaven above it I got in the Mass Effect universe. But do I ponder this question, or try to survive.

Of course I choose survive.

* * *

After a good ten minutes of walking, I get a message from the operator. _By the way if you need anything… let's say cosmetic/internal, I have my people you can always talk to. Here are the coordinates: 0100011101011100111100011111 01000011111100100001110001_

Now of course, I can't read binary, but fortunately, my Omni-tool can. The whole reason why I am so good with these future technologies is because of my epic skill with techs in my whole school career. In college my skill only became more profound.

After a good minute of translating, I got the coordinates to the building. Unfortunately, I have to take a rapid-transit car.

"Well, time to mark new things on my 'Shit to Do before I Die' list. And number one for now is riding rapid-transit."

As I hailed a car, I got in and noticed it had no driver. But it seemed simple enough, so I plugged in my destination, and left the transit area.

Ok, so for one, I am never taking those damned cars again. These things are torture. But fortunately, I got to the suspicious looking white metal building that has an angry looking Russian mob maid-man standing outside.

"Great, nothing could possibly go wrong."

* * *

"Wakey, wakey comrade. It's been two days, how are you holding up?"

"Ugh, damn, it feels like I'm heavier, and stronger for some reason."

"And not to mention the fact that the operator made you his guinea pig for experiments."

"What?"

"Well, let's just say that you are a biotic who can now be sustained with normal food, and also you have a few other key features."

Now at this I was pissed, but also kind of happy. I did always want to be a biotic.

"After a few months of training, you should be on your marry way."

"Well, I did say nothing could go wrong. And nothing did!"

"Not yet comrade, not yet."

* * *

I was at a Queen Reminiscence Concert ; yes a Queen concert, just rocking out. I was kind of sad that Queen was forgotten, but his followers started a reminiscence band in his honor, and I was surprised to see how good they were.

After I was finished realizing how awesome Queen is, I leave the courtyard area I was in.

Just as I exit, I black out...


	3. Chapter 3

**New Chapter, Finally!**

**Ok, now you read**

* * *

**Ch. 3**

"Ugh, where am I?" I ask myself, ultimately confused. I see that my surroundings are those not of the citadel. In fact it looks too symmetric.

I suddenly hear beeps and try to move, but I realize that I am chained to a wall.

"Dammit."

"Sir here he is," says a grainy electronic voice "should I have him prepared for transport?"

"Not yet," a voice says, a turrian I notice "I need to interrogate him first."

"Who are you?" he says to me.

"Are you talking to me sir? I'm just a citadel dock worker."

He smiles, "I doubt that, considering I took you from Eden Prime."

"Eden… Prime?"

"Yes, and I intend on you telling me who you are, and how you got here."

"Well, Saren, if you intend to get me talking you might as well let out of these shackles because if you intend on making me talk now, you have another thing coming. You see Saren, you know not the power you are dealing with right now. I can will you out of existence right now if I wanted to. Nikos never talks without the terms being fare first."

Saren seemed to be taken aback by my statement, and I see that he planning his words carefully.

"You… You speak lies human," he says "You cannot simply will me out of existence."

"Try me."

"Bah! I'm through with you! Ulysses, take care of him for me, I'm going to speak with Sovereign."

"Yes sir." Ulysses says.

Fortunately for me, I was in Spetznaz training as a boy. So I quickly pick the locks, and compromised the Geth's memory core by using biotic stasis on the core and ripping it out.

"This could be useful."

* * *

I find myself on the staging area of Sovereign, after a few hours of aimlessly wandering; flash killing any geth I see. On one end of the SA I see a recon fighter.

"It'll have to do."

I concentrate on bringing my essence to the fighter, and I instantly find myself at the ships cockroach likeness. I feel proud of the fact that I have figured out how to biotic jump. But I enter the fighter, and imminently I hear a voice in my head.

"Ehem! Yes! It is I, the infamous Operator! But I see you are trying to pilot a fighter. We wouldn't want you crashing would we? No, we wouldn't so here's your daily gift, have fun."

Just then I feel the knowledge of extensive alien languages, star maps, and ship controls flooding my mind.

After a brief migraine, I fly the hell out of Sovereign.

* * *

"Well, I'm on a planet, I have no idea what system it's in, and I don't even have a star chart, codex, or food supplies… great."

My ship broke down, so I don't have any star charts in my memory anymore. But, due to the Nuclear Winter around me, I settle for the fact that I am probably on Tuchanka.

"This is just a load of fucking sunshine!"

After I was done making wise cracks with myself, I decide to go out and explore. After about thirty minutes of walking, I finally see a small camp, or village, in the distance. I decide that even though it's a bad idea, I should go to it anyway.

Just as I enter the camp, a Krogan comes out, shotgun in hand.

"What are you doing here human?"

"My ship crashed, I need a place to stay and rest," I say in Krogan.

"A human who knows Krogan? Hmmf, you learn something new every day."

After a few days on Tuchanka, I was able to board a ship traveling to the citadel, well after a few stops. Unfortunately, nothing interesting happened, so for most of the time I was meditating.

Another fact for you is that I am obsessed with learning new fighting strategies, and due to my uncle's status in the Spetznaz, I was able to learn a lot of new styles with him when I lived in Russia.

I meditate to help cleanse my body of the bad chi that builds up. And before you ask, yes, I was trained in the art of the Shaolin. Also some other forms are Russian Bear Style Wrestling, Ti Kwan Do, Karate, and Ninjitsu. I take pride in my militaristic life style.

* * *

Finally I arrive at the citadel, and the first person who I see is Commander Shepard.

**I hope you all liked the new chapter.**

**No I'm not dying, just been busy.**

**Please send more recommendations!**


	4. Chapter 4

**I'm going to try to push out some new chapters here soon.**

**I don't own Mass Effect, blah blah blah…**

"Shepard!" I call out.

"Who are you?" he asks sternly.

"My name is Nikoli Strevongstoff," I shake his hand, "But you can call me Nikos."

"Why did you call my name?"

"I want to join your crew." I say monotonously, but with a hint of passion.

He looks like he is thinking. "Will you be here in the next few hours?" he asks.

"Yes I will."

"Then I will come to you when I'm done with some important business."

"Yes Velikiy."

With that Shepard left me, and I realized I had nothing of the sorts of combat gear."

"Over here!"

I turned around to see the operator standing there.

"You need money, no?"

"Yes I do! But how did you find me."

"I have my sources. Now here is an Omni-tool. I have updated your files to match the current years. Also on your credit chit right here," He hands me both objects, "I have put 75,000 credits, more than enough for you to get top quality armor, weapons, and decals of your liking."

"Thank you."

"No problem. I don't want my little experiment to die now would I?"

"Experiment?"

"Yes, and I have to leave. Right about… now. Toodles!"

With that he disappears. But I don't care. I now have money for armor!

* * *

After a few hours of searching, I found a store to my liking.

"Hello," I say to the clerk, "What kinds of wares are sold here?"

"Almost any kind of rare or advanced military supplies, why are you going to be a mercenary?"

"Of sorts." I say slyly.

"Then I will let you at it then."

I find a black "robe" that is actually an advanced shielding system, that also channels your biotics.

I also find a mask with only one eye port, but sensors for both eyes. This seems intimidating.

I buy a compacted, foldable dai-katana, and an Omni-armor system for myself that is "Talon merc certified". I happily buy both.

But I felt that something was missing with my mask. I selected a few decals, and found one I like.

I also buy a collector's edition Z-17 Vladimir elephant rifle.

"Now your total is 65,000 credits. I hope to God that you brought spending money."

"Yes I did, and here you go."

"Thank you, have a good day."

"Before I go, what is your name?" I ask.

"Jefiik Lennon."

"Nikos Strevongstoff" I say while shaking his hand.

* * *

After an hour of waiting, I see Shepard coming my way.

"Shepard, over here."

"Nikos… is that you in there."

"Yes it is commander. This right here is my combat armor."

"Well, if you fight as fiercely as you look, then I'm happy to have you on the team. Welcome aboard." He says as he shakes my hand, "I like the decal on the mask. What is it, Maori?"

"Yes it is commander."

* * *

I follow Shepard to the Normandy.

"Now Nikos, I welcome you to the Normandy. How about you get acquainted with some of the crew?"

"Sure thing commander."

I walk to the elevator and select the engineering bay. After what felt like a God-awful long time, I hear the ship's core's vibrations. I walk into the core area to see Tali at work.

"Hello." I say to her.

"Keela! You scared me!" she says, "Who are you?"

"My name is Nikos. Shepard picked me up from the Citadel. I heard that he needed some help on a mission, so I felt obliged to aid him in his time of need."

"That's an interesting story. The commander picked me up from the citadel after I was injured by a couple of mercenaries."

"That is most unfortunate Miss…?"

"Oh, sorry! Where are my manors? My name is Tali'Zorah nar Rayya."

"That is a beautiful name Tali."

"Why thank you, but enough about me, where are you from?"

"I am from Siberia, a frozen Tundra in the country Russia, on the planet Earth. I have spent the last 20 years of my life training in the Russian special operations called, the Spetznaz. I ran covert operation for my people. I quit after I was told to kill an entire STG unit. It turns out they were sent to protect innocents. I told myself that with my biotic powers, I would make the galaxy a better place."

"That… that is amazing."

"Thank you. I try to be."

"Tali, Nikos, Garrus, and Wrex; report to the staging area. Thank you."

"Well I think we better go."

* * *

"We need to head down to this planet, and rescue this scientist. I want Nikos and Garrus to scout ahead. Tali, Wrex, and I will take the Mako."

"Yes sir!"

"Well you're the new team member. My name is Garrus. Pleased to meet you."

I shake his extended hand, "Nice to meet you too."

"Let us go scout, shall we?" I say.

"Fine by me."

After a brief few minute flight through the atmosphere in the shuttle, we see a Geth base ahead.

"Garrus, let me sneak in. I'm more nimble than you."

"If you want to go get shot, be my guest."

I sneaked past one of the large turrets, and scaled the second one. I cut inside the metal shell with the help of my biotics. I see that the turret is automated, so I gleefully cut all of the wires, shutting it down. But as a consequence, a lone Geth trooper makes its way toward me. I jump down, and crush its metal body with ease. All of the Geth are now aware of my presence, so there's no use hiding anymore.

"Garrus, get ready for a firefight!"

"On my way now Nikos."

I pull out my elephant rifle, and shoot one Geth several times through the optics. One tries to sneak behind me, and I slice it with my katana. A rocket trooper comes, and shoots one of its rounds at me.

In a way I do not know, my adrenaline kicks in, and I felt my eyes growing more perfect in vision. I suddenly feel a rush of knowledge and tactics fill my mind. In my furry I yell one thing.

"My eyes yearn!"

The rocket coming at me stops in mid air. I hurdle it towards my attacker. The force of the biotic explosion levels half of the walls. A Geth prime shows me its location with a volley of charged plasma.

"I will show you the truth!"

I take the prime in the air, and throw my katana at it. I send a biotic charge through the sword, and biotic jump behind the prime. I biotic push it toward the ground and pull the katana out of its tormented metal shell. I fling the charged carcass at the outpost building and send a shockwave at the building. The whole building blows up in a glory of power.

A Geth troop transport appears, and I pull it from the sky, into the lava. It explodes, sending shrapnel everywhere.

I exit from my warriors trance, and I see Shepard, Tali, Wrex, and Garrus starring, awed, at me.

"What the hell was that?" Shepard asks.

**I made this chapter longer for a reason. Now shut up and read my story! But seriously, I hope you al enjoy chapter four.**


	5. Chapter 5

Well, it has come to my attention that I suck at writing Mass Effect FanFics. So, I am raffling off this story if anyone wants its rights. If you want it, please send a PM to me explaining why & how you would continue my story.

Thank You,

Lord Nikoli Esquire

_**Cheers Mates**_

**Goodbye**


End file.
